10 Common Reasons to Consider Adoption for your Child

1. You aren’t ready to be a mother (again) and terminating the pregnancy is not viable option at this time in your life.
Parenting is something that will change your life forever and the idea of becoming a parent can be scary if you’re not ready for such a commitment. Consider all options and do not second guess yourself. Making a safe and secure plan to ensure your child has the life you want for him/her makes you an amazing mom!

2. You want to turn an unplanned situation, one that may feel overwhelming, into something positive and meaningful.
Being faced with an unplanned pregnancy will knock you back on your feet. The good news is that you have the ability to turn an unexpected situation into something beautiful. By making an adoption plan, you will be in control of your child’s future. The family you select will love your child unconditionally and will provide him/her with endless opportunities and security. In choosing life for your child, you also giving a family the greatest gift, the gift of parenthood.

3. You want to properly care for your child but will not have the emotional or financial support you feel you need.
In some cases, family members and friends will discourage adoption. This may be a result of them being unaware of the process. While loved ones mean well, often times the emotional and financial support they can offer is limited. If you are not fully ready to parent, please trust yourself and the process. Although you may not have support from everyone close to you, they will come around. In the meantime, you will have absolute support from the adoptive family you select and from us. You are not alone.

4. You are facing challenges that would make caring for a child, or another child, a hardship.
Being a parent is a wonderful experience and you cannot put a price tag on the joy a child brings into one’s life. While money is not what matters most, it is important to recognize that parenting is a huge financial undertaking. Per the USDA, on average, families can expect to spend around $230,000. to raise a child to the age of 17. This figure does not include the cost of college. The financial struggles are real for many people, now more than ever. https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2017/01/13/cost-raising-child.

5. You want to continue to care for the children you are parenting to the best of your ability. Bringing a newborn home may drain your emotional and financial resources.
If welcoming another child into your family will prevent you from being the best mom you can be to the children you are currently parenting, you may feel that making an adoption plan is best for everyone. Feeling this way does not mean you do not love your child or that you love him/her less than your other children. It’s the deep love you have for your child that will bring happiness and security to everyone.

6. You want to return to school or work and not put your life on hold.
As we get older, we find there is less time for ourselves. What are your dreams? Do you want to return to school, work, begin a career, or simply enjoy your days and nights with friends and family? Would caring for a newborn hold you back from living the life you want for yourself? If so, placing your child with a family that has every resource and wants nothing more than to raise a child, adoption is an amazing option. Making yourself a priority now will set you up for future success.

7. You want to be in control of your child’s life and avoid foster care.
For a variety of reasons, your child may be at risk of being placed in foster care. Homelessness, an unfit living environment, domestic violence, past or current drug use, imprisonment, or an open CPS case are reasons why bringing a child home may not be an option for you. If you choose to make an adoption plan, you will remain in control of your child’s future. You can maintain a relationship with the family you select which is often not possible if your child is in state care.

8. Your pregnancy was the result of sexual assault.
If this pregnancy is the result of sexual assault, you may be feeling ambivalent about being pregnant. This is not uncommon. You may feel you are unable to bond with a child conceived under such circumstances and believe placing your child for adoption is the best option. We support you in your decision.

9. You want to help someone else create a family.
You may find yourself wanting to help a family that cannot have a child biologically. These soon-to-be-parents want nothing more than to experience the joy of parenthood and to welcome your child into their lives. You can make someone’s dream of having a family a reality.

10. You want to give your child the life you want for him/her. A life filled with unconditional love, security, and opportunity.
Every parent wants this for their child. If you are interested in creating a safe and secure adoption plan for your child, we can help.

💗 To learn more about placing a child for adoption, please text or call Renee anytime at 646-988-6281 💗

Pregnant and Considering Adoption

Why choosing adoption at any stage of your pregnancy is a loving choice for you and your baby.

Many women who are pregnant and considering adoption often feel they have to make a decision alone but nothing could be further from the truth. Trusted adoption professionals, like those at Adoptions First, provide private and free consultations to talk through your many options.
To get started, it’s helpful to reframe how you speak about adoption. You are not giving up your unborn or already born child, you are giving your baby the chance to be raised by a couple or individual who is committed to this process and wants to provide your baby with a loving and safe childhood.
It’s also important to recognize that you can choose to work with an adoption center at any point in your pregnancy. There are more families waiting to adopt right now than there are available birth mothers and Adoptions First will help you with the adoption process. Remember that you are not alone.
When you reach out for a private conversation with Renee at Adoptions First, you will learn that there are many support systems put in place to make this as easy as possible for you and your baby including financial assistance. Everything from maternity clothes and nourishment to post adoption services to help you get back on your feet will be included when you work directly with Adoptions First.

Here are 5 helpful steps that take place in the adoption process.

FIRST: Call or text Renee at Adoptions First 24/7

NEXT: Review and select the adoptive parent(s) of your choice from a wide range of potential caregivers who have been approved through a rigorous screening process.

THEN: You will get to know the adoptive family through conversations and meetings if that is your wish, and Adoptions First will help coordinate everything from beginning to end. During this time you will discuss your post-adoption contact preferences including the level of openness you’d prefer and so much more.

AFTER: Once you give birth, you will complete the official adoption paperwork and your child will join his or her new family.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST: You can remain in contact with your child’s family as your child grows up if that is something you and the family feel is best. And you will continue to receive supportive services from Adoptions First including free counseling and job search tools as long as you need it.
You are empowered to make the best decision for yourself and for your unborn infant the entire time. Most importantly, by calling or texting Adoptions First you will soon discover that you are not alone and have many options to a bright future for you and for your child.

Meeting Your Child’s Adoptive Parents

Talking to and meeting your child’s adoptive parents for the first time can be one of the most nerve wracking experiences. The only way I can describe it is like going on a blind date. I remember feeling so nervous and wondering what they would be like and what we would talk about. I mean we were complete strangers after all. Would there be anything to talk about? Were they going to judge me? Were they going to like me? What would happen if they didn’t like me? My head was spinning with a million different questions. In my case we started off with a phone call and then got to meet each other in person. After going through this experience, I have reflected on a few tips and things to remember if you find yourself feeling that same way.

HAVE QUESTIONS PREPARED. This sounded kind of weird to me at the time, but it was so helpful and most importantly it alleviated any awkward silence. As soon as there was a lull in the conversation, I would ask one of my questions. It also helped me to really get to know them. There were things that I wanted to know about them, but with all the nerves I would have forgotten to ask. It was really helpful to have them written down and in front of me. You may want to know what they do for work, what they like to do in their free time, or whether or not they plan to be stay-at-home parents. Having a list of questions can help to calm your nerves and make you feel prepared. Plus, if it’s a phone call they won’t even know you have the list. Also, something to remember…if there is something you want to know, but you don’t feel comfortable asking them directly, reach out to your adoption professional, who I’m sure would be happy to get the answer for you.

BE OPEN AND HONEST. It is so important to be open and honest about the way you are feeling or how things are going. Adoptive parents genuinely care about you and want the best for you, whatever that might be. They are not there to judge you or make you feel badly.

VIDEO CHAT IF YOU CAN. If you can’t meet in person, video chat is an amazing option. You can only get to know someone so much by the sound of their voice. It can be a lot easier to form a connection with adoptive parents when you can see their faces. I know this can be kind of scary, but hopefully by now you have had a few conversations on the phone or through texting and you feel more comfortable with each other. Video can give them a chance to show you their home, for you to see how they interact, and to build a stronger bond. I know a lot of birth parents that would video chat once a week to check in and catch up on what was going on in life.

ASK FOR MORE PICTURES. At this point you have probably only seen a few pictures from their profile or on their website. Picture albums can be a really great way to connect and share stories about different memories and times in their lives. It can also help you to envision what your child’s life may be like in the future. Is there a particular place they like to vacation every year? Do they have family reunions with extended family? Do they love to ride bikes by the beach? All of these pictures and stories can paint a picture of their life, hobbies, vacations, etc. If you feel comfortable, you can share pictures as well. The goal in all of this is to build a relationship and connection that makes you feel comfortable.

AND REMEMBER…nerves are completely normal. I can guarantee the adoptive parents are just as nervous, if not more nervous than you are! They are experiencing a lot of the same feelings and hoping you like them as well. And it may take a few times of talking or meeting for things to start to feel more comfortable but the hope at the end of it is that you both feel a connection to each other and feel comfortable with taking the next step in the process, becoming exclusive!

~Ali

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Surviving the Wait: Ways to Wait Well

Anyone that has gone through, or is in the midst of their adoption journey, knows that the waiting can be one of the most difficult parts. Whether it is waiting to be selected by birth parents, waiting for your child to be born, or waiting for your adoption to finalize it is just plain hard at times. We encourage you to keep hope while enduring the wait, and while we know there is no easy way around it, we want to offer you various resources and support to help you through it. Use your waiting period as a time to educate yourself and prepare for the abundant blessing ahead. We all have to wait, so why not wait well.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

Read adoption books – There are so many books and articles talking about all things adoption. These resources can help to prepare you for the path ahead and the realities of parenting and adoption. Here are a few we recommend:

The Open Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child

Grow Up Whole by Lori Holden

Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber

In Due Time Devotional (Hope and Encouragement in the Waiting)

Listen to adoption related podcasts – Sometimes we don’t have the time to sit and read a book, but there are a number of podcasts that address every topic surrounding adoption. You can listen on your commute to and from work or even while you workout or walk the dog. Whether it is hearing from an adoption professional, an alumni adoptive parent, or even a birth mother, these are invaluable resources that can open your mind to all the different experiences and intricacies of adoption.

Quiver Full Adoptions Podcast

Adoption NOW Podcast

Creating a Family: Talk About Infertility and Adoption

Read adoption related blogs – Maybe you prefer reading to listening to a podcast, but don’t have the time to dedicate to reading a whole book. There are so many blogs written by people that are going through or have been through the adoption process. Their experiences and stories not only have the opportunity to educate you, but also to offer support and words of advice and wisdom. Kindred + Co. is a support network designed for those who are going through the adoption process. They have a great blog and Instagram page that educates and offers support. This leads us perfectly into our next way to wait well.

SEEK SUPPORT

Find an adoption support group– It can be very helpful to find parents who are currently going through or have been through the adoption process. While friends and family are a great source of support, it can be very helpful to be surrounded by people who understand exactly what you are experiencing. It can be a good way to learn what to expect, how others are coping with the wait, and to hear others adoption stories. There are so many support groups both online and in-person. You can visit the National Council for Adoptable Children’s website to find a support group near you or do a simple Google search.

https://www.nacac.org/connect/parent-group/

Reach out to us– We are here not only to share in your excitement throughout your adoption journey, but also to support you through the times you are feeling the burden of the wait. We know it isn’t easy and we would be honored to walk in that with you. It is completely normal to feel hopeless, anxious, discouraged or all of the above at times. But you don’t need to endure that alone.

SELF CARE

Enjoy time to yourself – While this may sound trivial, once your new child arrives there will be a lot less time to do the things you enjoy. Make sure you take time to relax before you don’t have the option to. Whether that is making time for your hobbies, spending time with your friends and family, traveling, or just taking a bubble bath, these things can help to occupy your mind and rejuvenate you during your adoption journey.

Create something for your child – Write in a journal, write your child a letter, or create a keepsake. Doing such things can not only be a good emotional outlet during the process, but also a way to connect with your child before he or she arrives. Here are a couple journals we love (both can be found on Amazon for under $15).

    -I Wished for You: A Keepsake Adoption Journal

    -Our Adoption Story: The Journey That Brought Us To You

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Welcome to March

Welcome to March, the month that brings us National Potato Chip Day, International Waffle Day, and so much more!

Congratulations to families that recently adopted from Michigan, Florida, Arkansas, and Virginia! We imagine you are enjoying every moment of parenthood, including smiles, sparkling eyes, tiny toes, bottles, sleepless nights, diapers, and toddler tantrums. Please, never hesitate to send photos of the good and the…!

For our waiting families, please hang in there. When you began your adoption journey you understood the importance of managing your expectations in order to successfully navigate this process. The perceived and sometimes very real lack of control can play with one’s emotions. Please lean on us and loved ones for support. You may also wish to join a local adoptive parent support group. While we do not have a crystal ball (we want one!), history has shown that those who are persistent will adopt in just a matter of time. This may be near impossible for you to believe until it happens to you and that’s okay. We’ll wait.

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” Walt Disney

While you wait to be selected, a lot goes on behind the scenes. We want to take this opportunity to give you a “tour” of the screening and selection process and provide insight about what we do from the moment prospective birth parents contact us to when they select a family.

SCREENING AND SELECTION PROCESS

A BIRTH PARENT CONTACTS ADOPTIONS FIRST! WHAT DO WE DO?

Prospective birth parents contact Adoptions First 24/7 via our website contact form, online chat, direct text message, and by calling a staff member directly, toll-free. During the initial contact, we engage in friendly conversation and learn about the birth parents’ situation and details such as:

  • Name, address, DOB, and ethnicity of birth parents
  • Due date, prenatal care, insurance
  • Drug and alcohol use, history of mental illness
  • Living situation, job, other children, if any
  • Level of emotional/financial support
  • Prospective birth father and his level of involvement, if any

When a prospective birth parent (usually the mother) contacts us, often she is considering all of her options, including adoption. Our job is not only to gather information about the birth parents, but to provide them with information about the adoption process. We provide options counseling to all callers to ensure they are making the decision they feel is best for their child.

THE BIRTH PARENTS DECIDE ADOPTION IS BEST! WHAT’S NEXT?

After the initial intake, birth parents will receive a folder with helpful information and paperwork to complete, including: social/medical history forms, a HIPAA medical release, and a living expense request form (if applicable). Included in our mailing will be adoptive parent profiles for consideration. For families who, under their state law, cannot be matched with prospective birth parents, profiles can be viewed at www.adoptimist.com and other third-party websites.

With a greater level of openness as it relates to the child’s ethnicity, gender, drug/alcohol use, mental illness, and the anticipated cost of the adoption, your profile will be considered more often as more situations will be deemed suitable. Reminder: In order for a child to be placed into your care and custody your home study report must be complete and current (less than one year old) and all pre-adoption requirements in your State of residence must be met.

Please keep in mind, this is a mutual selection process. While not always the case, some birth parents will have preferences when it comes to adoptive parents they will consider. These preferences can include but not be limited to the prospective adoptive parents’ family structure (single, traditional, or same-sex couple), ethnicity, religion, level of education, and family composition (are there other children in the home).

KEEP READING! WE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST!

YOU ARE SELECTED! NOW WHAT?

Please be sure to check your email daily! When a birth parent selects you, you will receive from us all known and available information, including confirmation of pregnancy and more extensive medical records, if available. All medical information should be quickly reviewed by your trusted medical professional (i.e. pediatrician, obstetrician). If you need a referral, please let us know. After speaking with us about the situation presented, and getting the green light from your doctor, you will feel better prepared to make an informed decision about how you would like to proceed. Should you choose to move forward with the birth parents that select you, you will enter Phase II of the adoption process and will be one step closer to building your family through adoption. Sometimes this means taking a risk, big or small, but we promise to be there every step of the way holding your hand and guiding you through.

The above is just a glimpse of what your Adoptions First team is doing behind the scenes every single day to help every birth parent make the best plan for their baby and every client reach their dream of becoming parents through adoption.

Below are some articles we have found to be insightful and helpful.


Ready to AdoptThe Advice I Wish I’d Gotten as a Prospective Adoptive Parent

Most prospective adoptive parents don’t get cards or baby showers, or even much excitement. It’s time to change that. Buying something for your hoped-for baby won’t ‘jinx’ your plan to adopt, and 11 more things I wish someone had told me during the wait. ON THE COVER: Everett and Aveline ….


Ready to AdoptAdoption Myths: “You Have to Be Perfect” and The Truth

Sometimes it’s not just those unfamiliar with adoption who are misinformed. Read these common adoption myths, and the corresponding truths.


Ready to AdoptBuilding Strong Relationships with Birth Family

10 Ways to Build Trust with Prospective Birth Parents As you get to know prospective birth family, remember you are laying the foundation for a lifelong relationship, and use this advice.